Today started off with an overwhelming urge to be outside. But, it’s Monday and I had to play Grown Up and I went to work anyway. After being at my desk for a few minutes, I started feeling trapped. Anxiety started to set it and the urge to roam free get worse. I hate days like this because it just puts me in a cranky mood. Today, everyone I spoke to were assholes
About mid-morning I jumped on to a Periscope with Jennifer Martin of JenniferMartinYoga where she was talking about her mantra for the week:
This resonated with me. Here I was sitting at my desk, getting more restless with every “asshole” I spoke to and probably stressing out a few co-workers in the process. I don’t like it when they bitch for no reason so why am I doing it to them? Then Jen challenged us to an exercise. We were asked to take a minute at the top of every hour today to write down the words were are feeling and how they make us feel. This was at 10:45. I thought it was an interesting game to play. So, I played along. Right after this scope, I posted to Facebook how I need to be in one of my happy places today and was looking for good vibes any place I could find them. Then, I forgot about it. I wanted to share with you my process of a few hours today and how the magic of words can change your mood and way of thinking. Ready?
11:00 feeling trapped and anxious. The urge to get outside is very strong. Deep breaths before the fight or flight fully envelopes me. Everyone is an asshole! What is wrong with people today?
11:10 Took a walk out to my car. Phone battery is low. It’s an excuse to get outside! It helps a little.
12:00 I consider canceling my dinner plans for Saturday to spend my birthday alone with my husband getting lost in the woods. Fuck it all! This is one of my happy places! Saying it out load to a coworker eases the disappointment I feel. Once I realize this feeling, the urge to run is lessening and only half the people I talk to are assholes. The others are just ok.
1:00 I jump back on Facebook totally forgetting my earlier post. I see that my cousin and my best friend commented. For not knowing each other, they had idenical jokes- just delivered in their own special ways. This made me start laughing. Then a few more friends jumped in. At the time, I wrote, “My friends are crazy and know just the right things to make me laugh. Metal roosters, doggie kisses and pugs taking selfies.”
My whole attitude changed after that.
3:00 Just returned from a walk around the parking lot (15 minutes) with the same coworker from earlier. We both just spoke what was on our minds while we soaked up the warm sun. Some talk about work but mostly personal. It helped us both, I think. It felt great to be outside. I now only have one and a half hours of work left. I am now in a great mood! “It is what it is” comes to mind.
3:15 I have my afternoon coffee and pumpkin seed/sea salt granola KIND bar. Holy crap this tastes amazing together today!
4:30 Heading home! Get out of my way people!! AC is cranked. So is the radio. Life is good again!
7:00 I spent an hour outside after dinner. Did some yoga, a little weeding and walked around the yard with my husband. Not really taking. Just listening to the sounds of nature and feeling the breeze on my skin. I enjoy the silence within me. I found a praying mantis in the bushes where I was weeding. The mantis comes to us when we need peace, quiet and calm in our lives. This was my sign. This is when I felt compelled to share my day.
So here I am typing on my phone. It’s 8:30 and I feel at peace again. Once I recognized my triggers and made a conscience effort to change how I was feeling, the day got progreasivly better. I got a lot of help from my fitness today whether they realized it at the time or not. See, it’s not just choosing your own words to shift your thoughts. It’s also your words that help someone else to shift theirs.
Till next time – be kind to yourself and to others 💞