So here it is: my anniversary post! It was this week in 2012 that changed my life….
Travel back in time with me. To those dark days of feeling so low that I finally crashed… Hit rock bottom. I was good at hiding it from most people. Those few that I could not hide from, I confided in. The year prior, Jan 2011, I had made a small change that drastically changed my mood and how I looked. What did I do? I went off the pill and got an IUD. My gyn doctors assured me there would be no side effects (specifically weight gain – I did ask this question first). Well, they could not have been more wrong! My hormones went bat shit crazy. I gained the first 20 pounds in the first month and a total of 40 pounds for the year. Besides the weight gain, I was dealing with severe cystic acne that has left me scared from my neck, down my back and to my waist. I felt like a monster. That spring, I decided to become a vegetarian thinking my skin would clear up and I would lose some of the weight. I also joined a gym that summer and started working out 3-4 times a week. Nothing helped. The acne got worse and the weight kept piling on. My breaking point was the Christmas of 2011. I was going through my holiday pictures and saw what I was becoming. I hated how I felt and how I looked. I was pushing 200 pounds. I was the heaviest I had EVER been and had acne of a 16 year old – something else I never had to deal with. The final straw was January 7, 2012 when I was asked to go to a conference with work. I knew I had nothing nice to wear. I didn’t want to buy new “fat” clothes just for a trip either. And besides, honestly, if I could not give myself 100%, how can I give that to my boss as well and represent the company? So, I turned down the offer. What did I do after that? I cried – hard. And texted my sister.
I made a decision right then. I needed to stop the pity party, suck it up and do something about it. I got my dermatologist to give me a strong oral medication for the acne ( which took another 3 months to clear up). I then went out and bought myself a copy of Jillian Michaels’ “Master Your Metabolism” and read it in 2 days. I did not follow the book word for word but got the gist of what she was saying. It did help me understand things better! Then the next step was to download MyFitnessPal on to my phone. I honestly did not think I was the “counting calories” type. I had already decided I would probably forget or give up by the 2nd month. I set up the goals and how many calories I would consume in a day then got started. To date, I have not missed a day of logging in my food or exercise. I even added some lean animal protein back into my diet. My body felt like it needed more protein then I was giving it via the vegetarian way. This is all about getting back on track and listening to your body. This is the first step right? I had lost 11 pounds by June. All I was doing was watching what and how much I ate and stayed active with hiking and gardening. I have mastered the art of eating out and finding the best options on the menu (Google is my friend). I then decided I was going to try running again. The summer before tried to get into it but I was holding myself back. This time it stuck and now I LOVE RUNNING! When I feel stressed, I go for a run. I do not do it to train for a race or have the best time. I do it when I want because it’s fun! I found myself running more and going to the gym less and less. I have taken some time off from running because I hate running in the cold wind. So instead I take walks with my husband. Not just a stroll after dinner. I mean we go for miles! Four miles is a typical short walk for us. I am starting to get into lifting as well. I have a weight bench in my basement now ( a gift from my in-laws). I already feel more toned in my arms and legs just from the couple of weeks I have had it. I did gain back 3 of those 11 pounds but I’m ok with that. My measurements are holding strong. That’s what matters to me now. I do not stress over a number on a scale. If my “goal pants” fit ( and they do!) I celebrate a little, then set a new goal (they are hanging in my closet waiting to be worn). I feel better both emotionally and physically then I have in years! I am happy!
What do I want for myself in 2013? I have a new list of goals – gotta love a good list!
- LEARN TO NOT OVER THINK THINGS!!! ( Just Jill from www.joggingjeans.com this one’s for you -LOL)
- Run my first 5K
- Drop 1 pants size
- Blog more
What am I focusing on for January?
- I would love to see an inch be gone from my belly but would be happy with a 1/2″
- Learn the art of lifting
- Read a book
I am looking forward to seeing what 2013 has in store for me!