Attack of the killer what?

    I was digging in the dirt this Saturday. The first weekend in a while that it was not raining. So, I took advantage of the cool but nice weather and decided to clean out the gardens of the annuals and some perenials that have long been dead.  I started on the side of the house and worked my way around to the front.  Now, as some of you may remember, there is a spot out front by the dryer vent that I dare not venture into blindly.  This is where I found the snake as I was reaching for a weed a few months back…. My skin still crawls when I think about that day.   As I am pulling the impatiens, I notice there is a trail through the mulch that goes along the whole length of the house… hmmm, is this the snakes path?  It is not exactly under the mulch but approx 1″ wide and 1/2″ deep but there are spots where it borrows then comes back up… This could be anything – either way, I do not want anything to jump out at me… so I proceed with my tidying up with caution…
    I get to the hydrangia and mums – the spot where I last encuontered the snake. I reach for one of the begonias in front of the mum and screamed!  I am totally freaked out because I see something brown and furry hiding under the plant.

OMG!  What the hell is it?  A groundhog? I am not sticking around to find out!   I go around to the back to find my husband.  He will come to my rescue!  I just stood there looking at him with this look on my face like a just saw a ghost…or worse! 
“What’s wrong?” Dan asked.
“Oh my god!  There is something this big ( showing him the size of a cantelope with my hands) over in the garden.  I have to pull the plants there but I do not know what it is”, I told him with panic in my voice.
“Yeah right – is it a mouse?” He asked.
“No it’s not a mouse!  It’s feakin huge and hairy! Come See!”
So, I took my husband over to the bush to show him.  Then I moved to higher ground on the porch for my on safety.
“Oh it’s just a bunny trying to stay warm – it won’t hurt you”  He teased.
“Yeah right! Make it move.”
He then tried to startle it by kicking the bush and tossing some mulch in it’s direction but the thing would not move.   Now I am thinking it’s dead and I will be the one to have to get rid of it.  After a few more tries of getting this thing to move,   Dan gave up.  He told me if it’s not already dead it will move when I go to cut the bush. Some hero! But, the next thing I know, he had our dog on her leash walking by the garden.  My dog walked right past it, did not notice it and the thing still did not move.  It played dead very well! Or at least I hope it was playing! So, I told him I will just leave that area alone… deal with it in the spring.  There was no way I was going to get attacked by a bunny!  At least I knew that the snake was not around.  If it was, the bunny would not be standing!  But then I thought, I can not see it’s head!  What if the snake was on the other end eating it!  Dan reassured me that a garden snake does not eat bunnies.  How does he know?? 
     After a few minutes, Dan came back and asked if it had moved and I told him no.  So, he came back with the broom.  He was able to shoo the bunny and this time it turned around so I could see it’s head.  After screaming from being startled by it moving, I took another picture…
He was cute! But just after I took this picture, I wanted to get in closer so I knelt on the porch.  Just then the son of a bitch charged me!  I jumped back and screamed- again… the bunny bumped his head on the side of porch and hid back under the bush.  He was shaking more then I was.  Eventually, I told Dan to forget it.  Just leave him there.  AfterI saw him shaking, I started to feel bad.  Just then, he bolted out, bumped his head and bounced off the porch, I screamed, he did it again, so I screamed again… then ran across the street and into the cornfield.  Thank God THAT was over!
“There it’s gone.  Feel better now?”  Dan asked.  “You’re lucky he did not get hit by a car while running across the street.”
I did feel better.  But the whole time I was out there, I was careful to check under every bush as to not come across another bunny or the snake that I was did not want to encounter again!

4 thoughts on “Attack of the killer what?

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